The Ape Is Dead, Long Live The Ape

Fifteen years, 2500 films. Time to call it a day.

The blog that is, I'll continue to find inventive ways of insulting shit movies over here https://boxd.it/9avPV

I'm not transferring 2500 reviews over there though, this will stay as long as blogger stays up I imagine, allowing you to read what terrible trash Charlotte was making me watch in 2012 as often as you want.

Thanks for the reads.

Robin Redbreast

The last film in the All The Haunts Be Ours boxset is a gem. Broadcast on TV in 1970, the mind boggles at how the average TV viewer would have reacted to the casual swerve in to ritual sacrifice at the end, I thought it was brilliant. 

Penda's Fen

More interested in dismantling British identity than exploring its pagan imagery.

Dune: Part Two

Quite the most incredible middle third of a movie I've ever seen. Part three now please.

The Nurse [The Sensuous Nurse]

Reminded me of Knives Out but only with all the whodunnit aspect removed and replaced by nakedness instead.

Mad Foxes

Words simply cannot describe this. Well, I lie, they can. But just one word, and that word is King.

Five Loose Women [Fugitive Girls]

All trashy good fun, but given the week's activities this stood in Policewomen's shade considerably.

Divinity

Wedged firmly in its own asshole.

Leviathan

A deep sea rip off of Alien that's gotten itself all confused and keeps on thinking it's a deep sea rip off of The Thing.

Dagon

Boils Lovecraft down to the basics of a soggy atmosphere, a lot of screaming and a whole bunch of surprise tentacles. I enjoyed it, but I'm glad it wasn't longer.

The Last Of Sheila

Needlessly complicated and whilst it was enjoyable watching all the carefully constructed mystery unravel, you were left with a much bigger mystery as to what the point of it all was.

Bait

Slow and intense. Didn't do a lot, but stayed with me nonetheless.

Night Of The Lepus

Tedious to a fault and massively stupid with its repeated shots of rabbits snuffling their way through a model village. Despite this the cast take it all incredibly seriously, just like they take the idea of Janet Leigh as a young mother seriously when she clearly looks about 124.

Invasion U.S.A.

Honestly can't get over just how blithely this guy rips off Jason Statham in this movie, it is beat for beat exactly the same shit, such arrogance! Unbelievable.

Aguirre, The Wrath Of God

A superb descent into megalomaniacal madness with Klaus Kinski trying to wildly stare down Mother Nature herself.