Monday, 21 May 2018

Phantasm II


Immediately changes gear from the meandering dream states of the first film into straight up pursuit of a bad guy allowing for more crazed dwarves, more blood spraying spheres and a chainsaw fight. King.

Sunday, 13 May 2018

The Chaser [Chugyeogja]


Korean Fincher.
Excellent.

Monday, 30 April 2018

Headshot


An able demonstration that no amount of tightly choreographed fight sequences can make a film good on their own.

Sunday, 29 April 2018

Avengers: Infinity War [IMAX 3D]


Successfully staves off superhero fatigue by introducing misery, failure and loss into the lives of its indestructible protagonists, the harbinger of these being Thanos who successfully staves off Marvel's shit villain issue by being unrelentingly insane, complex and badass.
The teenager refused to comment insisting that until she watches next year's follow up, she's only seen half a movie.

Friday, 13 April 2018

A Quiet Place


An exercise in ratcheting up muscle cramping levels of tension that succeeds magnificently, followed by two hours of the teenager suggesting better solutions to everything that happened that would make everybody in the film a lot more safe and the film a lot less exciting.

Thursday, 12 April 2018

Rampage


Suffers from a level of rank stupidity that should be insulting but in the capable hands of The Rock, who has polished far worse turds, ends up being thoroughly enjoyable.

Wednesday, 11 April 2018

Shin Godzilla [Shin Gojira]


Ropey monster FX shots alternated with lengthy discussions conducted by people in rooms about either what just happened in the last ropey FX shot or what is going to happen in the next one. Sometimes as a special treat, it's both.

Monday, 9 April 2018

The Seven Minutes


Meyer's serious movie with a spritely first hour setup for some edgy courtroom drama, that kinda made me wish he'd made more serious movies. Followed by a laborious hour of stilted, overacted dull as fuck courtroom drama that kinda made me glad he didn't.

Thursday, 5 April 2018

Beyond The Valley Of The Dolls


There's very few auteurs in cinema as talented and yet under-rated as Russ Meyer, and this gaudy, hyper-edited explosion of tits, drugs and outlandish insanity is his masterwork. One of my all time favourite movies, every time I watch that ending it strikes me that there really is absolutely nothing else like this out there. Utterly King.

Monday, 2 April 2018

Spasmo


Unhinged giallo attempt with very little killing and a twist that bravely attempts to explain why this should be, along with why the story was hopelessly incoherent and why everybody's acting veers all over the shop.

Sunday, 1 April 2018

Ready Player One [IMAX 3D]


Bog standard Spielberg adventure coated in a shit ton of nostalgic referencing, all elevated by his acute cinematic knowledge. Who else could have the balls to drop The Shining in the middle of all this, and what a drop it is.

Friday, 30 March 2018

Cooties


That proud Dad moment when the teenager starts inadvertently writing your reviews for you, to wit; "Is this supposed to be funny? It's not. It's shit."

John Wick


Though I was particularly taken with the central conceit that everybody is aware of the protagonist as an unkillable death dealer and fears him as such from the very first minute, it proved to be the films undoing as there was nowhere for the plot to go except toward an endless parade of coldly efficient gunfights until everybody finally dies.

Tuesday, 27 March 2018

Isle Of Dogs


Wes Anderson brings the full force of his exacting command of symmetry and droll humour to create a stop motion delight whose only real disappointment is that it had to end.

Thursday, 22 March 2018

War Dogs


Yet another deeply average, cookie cutter, 'greed is bad' cautionary tale. Yawn.