Saturday 29 August 2009

Funny People


Strives to avoid the escapist trappings of conventional cinema.
However, constantly scraping 'reality' across your senses only serves to make you aware that nearly everyone you're watching is either a bewildered idiot or an asshole.
Just like real life.

Tuesday 25 August 2009

Repo! The Genetic Opera

"Make a 21st Century CGI Nu-Metal Rocky Horror Picture Show" must have sounded like a great idea in some idiots head.
The reality, however, is a non-stop tyranny of songs similar to somebody shitting cancer into your ears, stitched together by a story that may as well have been hammered out by a brain damaged chimp on a typewriter rammed up its own ass.

Saturday 22 August 2009

Salo, or The 120 Days Of Sodom [Salò o le 120 giornate di Sodoma]


Some high-brow taboo breaking.
Powerful, remarkable and utterly, utterly berserk.

Thursday 20 August 2009

One Missed Call [Chakushin ari]


Miike reigns it in and heads down the middle of the road, demonstrating nothing more than that he can wank this kind of guff out in his sleep and it will still piss on a staggering majority of modern horror cinema.

Monday 17 August 2009

Pulse [Kairo]


Combines subtlety, elegance, unease and total confusion in a way that only japanese film makers can get away with.

Organ


Not really a film. More a torrent of incomprehensible twatting about.

Sunday 16 August 2009

Inglourious Basterds


Entertaining, albeit heavily flawed.
Surprisingly the flaws are not due to it being an insensitive, boorish rewrite of World War 2. Instead the flaws stem from the fact that it was made by Quentin Tarantino.
What a nob.

Saturday 15 August 2009

In Bruges


Brims with dialogue that sparkles like it's been carved from diamonds.

Thursday 13 August 2009

The Mist


Prompted a discussion on the best ever horror film. It's not the best ever, but it's certainly so good as to be part of such a discussion.

Monday 10 August 2009

GI Joe: The Rise Of Cobra


Like being thrown down a hill locked inside a metal box with several kilos of gravel and a downs syndrome child.

Saturday 8 August 2009

G-Force [3D]


Seemed to be missing an essential 10 minutes of film that would perhaps help it all make sense. Or make you give a shit about what was going on.
Or make it good.

Watchmen: Director's Cut


More fleshed out, and not so lumpy now. Still staggeringly good.